Karen

Things started getting bad a few years ago when we suffered a traumatic event that sent me into a deep depression. So I started saying "no" to any form of sex and that's when the coercion became more overt. He would say things like "this isn't normal for a woman your age, most women your age are having sex 3 to 4 times per week". Once I said No he said "you should let me cheat on you". When I was planning our 10th anniversary I suggested staying at a fancy hotel. His response, "whats the point if we're not having sex?" After an argument he did agree to the hotel and I was so grateful that I did have sex with him. That makes me so sad to think about now.

The final straw, he went to the doctor for abdominal pain. That night he told me the doctor said he had "extreme blue balls" and the only treatment was "a long session of penetrative sex". By that point I had already thought he was a pathological liar. I'm not even sure he even went to the doctor. I called him out on his bullshit, but not before he tried one last time to guilty trip me. How could I let my husband suffer so much?! We talked and I finally had the words to say, "ya know, if you were nice to me I'd probably want to have sex with you. Maybe if you showed me some affection it would help." His reply, something along the lines of "i don't feel like doing nice things for you because you're not having sex with me"

The gaslighting was real. I actually googled the next day to see if that was actually a diagnosis/treatment!